By the time you get to read this, I will have learned enough to know what is right and wrong in parenting.
This was written this on the International Women’s Day, 2017. I ought to have been writing to your Grandma but I cannot do that now, not yet. For the love that I have for her, the sacrifices she made, the hurdles she has faced, I do not feel ready to do it. I feel I haven’t done her proud to warrant it. Grandma is a genius, she is the best, remember that always. Enough about Grandma for now.
I know you will wonder why I never wrote to your Mum on this day. You might have a lot of questions and I will be ready to answer them. I can tell you the truth as at now. The reason I am not writing to Mum is, I still don’t know her. I don’t know if she is tall or short, light skin or dark skin, black or white. I don’t even know if she’s someone I have met before or not. I don’t even know if she is a lady I deeply love at the moment. Nobody knows the future my dear, and nobody wants pressure as well. All I know is that she will be the best mum. Very beautiful and powerful; mentally and emotionally. She will be there for you at all times and we will bring you up together. You will only get the best.
I am not perfect but I promise to always be there for you and to be the best for you. No matter what you will face in life. Dad will always be in your team to give you support. Consider me your number one fan in life. Dad will make you comfortable when you are still an infant, will help mum look after you, will get you the essentials you need and want. Though some I know you will break in hours. Dad will take you to school and always be present in your growth. Together with mum, we will be at the field side cheering you when you participate in sports. We will support you whether you win or lose. I am hoping you win more. We have a reputation my dear. No pressure though.
Come to daddy anytime you have a situation. We can always talk about anything you face as you grow. I will guide you every step of the way. Just to be clear, this does not cover weed and related things.
I will teach you to believe in yourself. I want you to grow with high self-esteem. Growing up, I have learnt that you will never get validation from others if it’s all you rely on. People will judge you. Do not worry about that, focus on what makes you happy. Accept every part of yourself, that way they can’t be used against you. I have a strong feeling you will have a big head, embrace it. Sorry in advance.
I will teach you to always say thank you, and to be appreciative of everything thrown your way. I will want to you to be respectful. You will know how to treat different people in the society with equal respect. I will like it if you would have a good relationship with your grandparents. They are pillars of wisdom and guidance. What we (Mum and I) are to you, they are to us. I will want you to keep them close and give them your time, unconditionally. I know I fail to give my grandparents that time and I am not proud of it. I will make it right. In my next letter, you will get an update.
When you go school, do not feel pressured to perform in a certain way. Do not feel confined to a particular box. Do what you can, what you feel is your best. We can always seek for different avenues if things go south. I am sure your mum will be smart. Dad is a born genius (just had to tell you that) so you will partake of that brightness.
Right now I am striving to create an environment that you will be proud of and comfortable in. Starting from me, I will work hard so you don’t lack. I will also try to live healthy because you will need me alive for long. We have a long way to go together.
I want to be your hero.
Best dad in waiting,