101 Random Facts About Me

A few months ago, Princess and I had a writing challenge. We were to each write 50 random things about ourselves. When we submitted our pieces we both agreed that 100 would have been ideal.

Fast forward to this date. I was going through my documents and I felt like, why not give it a go?

Instead of just adding to the other 50, I settled on starting afresh. In that period things have changed. Changes in time comes along with changes in several other things.

So here, have a peak at my life.

1. I was born in 1995
2. I was born of a teacher and a salonist. (Both didn’t last in those fields.)
3. I love my name. Letters L and M are my favorite alphabets
4. I am a Kiswahili and Communication student who cannot speak a minute of Swahili Sanifu.
5. Most of my friends do not understand why I took Swahili. I don’t understand either.
6. I wish I took a more serious course.
7. It seems I compensate for that in the people I get.
8. I prefer listening to music than watching movies
9. I am open minded
10. I like talking politics.

11. I like those who speak their minds. They say what they want and how they want it, no matter how good, ridiculous or hurtful it appears or might be.
12. I don’t consider myself a master of any trade.
13. I really like Oyunga Pala, I have read him since childhood. I also like Kisauti,I feel he treats words with respect.
14. I read several local writers. I like writers, poets and lyricists. They are creators. They build feelings, emotions, thoughts and entertainment out of words.
15. Suits is my favorite all time series. I also find sitcoms like Young & Hungry, BBT, Baby Daddy n Brooklyn Nine Nine, great.
16. I like paying attention to details.
17. I love and fear love in equal measure.
18. Kisumu matatu touts are the funniest people I know
19. I at times think about nothing
20. I am still single.
Update; Not anymore

21. I hope to get my Phd early in life
22. I have grown to like psychology a lot. I have read a lot of books in psychology in recent times. I can even tell Agnes (of Agitah) Luo men like to be praised and why it’s a good thing, coupled with where it matters the most.
23. I use Times New Roman when I run out of things to write. I feel more knowledgeable working on that font.
24. I don’t like watching TV. I only watch when I have specific news bit am looking for otherwise I can just spend a whole day looking at the plasma like an unwelcome mirror.
25. I listen to Jeff and Jalas on Hot 96.
26. I like Kenyan music. I am a huge fan of Khaligraph Jones
27. Internationally I like Kendrick Lamar and J Cole
28. I am not good for your heart, body and soul.
29. I have exceptional listening skills. I have a good memory. Not unless I decide to use the selective recalling method.
30. I am good with names. I like to refer to people by name from time to time when communicating.

31. I prefer telling stories to a noisy group in informal settings. I lose my punch line in stories when many people concentrate at what I am saying. I don’t like being the center of attention.
32. I don’t like being the smartest person in the room.
33. A large part of my personal life never get to social media.
34. My favorite handle on twitter is @novelicious.
35. I can stay for days without logging in to Facebook, a week without twitter and months minus Instagram.
36. I like leading a private life (don’t bother that I pour all the shit here)
37. I prefer collaboration to competition
38. I am a night person. I rarely do shit in the morning.
39. Isn’t it ironical that I am an early riser?
40. My grandma is on the verge of being fully convinced am either gay or not functional.

41. Everyone I know has their own slang for sex. Mine is thwocks. Make a sentence using that word you will get how ridiculous it sounds.
42. I easily strike conversations. I can handle talks even with a total stranger.
43. My backing off game can be great or bad. Depends on the 5Ws and H.
44. Generally, I am a different person to different people. It is based on the 5Ws and H.
45. I’d rather not try at all than try and lose. Been working on changing it for a long time.
46. That is why I did not learn how to ride a bike till last year but one.
47. I just can’t get what’s up with guys in the village who keep asking whether I am the eldest or youngest kid to my parents. I am neither, and I hate explaining shit.
48. I know what it means to be vulnerable to someone.
49. I believe that once we have something going we will always have it. We can go for a break for a week, months or even ten years. When we meet we will pick it up from where we left.
50. At the moment I am not sure what I want in life. Sometimes I want to do good stuff, make contributions to the society. Other times I just want to disappear to a lone island.

51. My favorites change often. In fact I am surprised how my favorite person has kept intact for such a long time.
52. I have never watched any episode of Prison Break.
53. I like chicken and fish
54. Chapati
55. I tend to use any name that crops up in my mind when arranging stuff on my computer. You now know why I say most of the times when asked that I have no movies or series. Trying to remember those names take time.
56. I have smoked cigarette once. Weed more than once.
57. I have also done illicit brew some times.
58. I am not a foodie
59. I don’t like eggs
60. I get bored or distracted so fast.

61. I like giving compliments. Most so when people deserve it. Though I am poor at receiving compliments.
62. I don’t know how to give 100% in something. I am just trying.
63. I have articles I wrote that I am embarrassed to read now. I just look at the titles and never read them. (One was posted here). I also don’t delete either.
64. My favorite number is 4 since childhood.
65. I don’t have a favorite day of the week. Any day can be a feel good day.
66. I can live without mobile network and internet.
67. Most people think that I am a Out of Site Out of Mind kind of person. Yes, they think right.
68. If I like you, you have to know.
69. My phone and PC wallpaper and screensaver are all PepperLife logo.
70. I like everything about PepperLife, starting from our readers.

71. I love my writing partner.
72. I am not a sucker for fashion. In fact I wear anything I can get my hands on when I want to leave.
73. Yet I have hit the runway more than once as a model.
74. I care just a tiny little bit about what people think about me (enough to help safeguard my reputation).
75. I believe people should do whatever makes them happy. As long as it doesn’t affect others.
76. I like the smell of toasted bread in the morning.
77. I email myself stuff from time to time as a means of transferring documents from the PC to the phone.
78. I have continuation problems. Like it can take me another year to complete this list if I don’t do it in one sitting.
79. The only time I call someone bad words is when I am kidding. I can call you really bad names when I am working you up.
80. I don’t know how to engage in a fight, verbal or physical. Not unless protecting someone I love.

81. I am slow (very very slow) to anger.
82. I like the view in Kericho when travelling. I find the tea zones so beautiful.
83. I want to revisit Mombasa and the Kenyan coasts any opportunity I get.
84. After Mombasa I want to go to Turkana.
85. I like how the sun sets in Kisumu
86. I subconsciously touch a lot when I really like someone. On the other side I feel weird when touched a lot.
87. The people I interact with think they know me. Funny what people think.
88. I like my ladies BBW. Writing this makes me question if it has anything to my liking of BMW.
89. Just when I thought I was settled, earlier this year we came to a mutual agreement with Vanessa Mdee that whatever we had could not work out. Giving me a green light to take my relationship with Mayonde to greater heights.
90. I don’t shower daily

91. I brush my teeth when I shower. I caught this from the sweetest taboo.
92. I suck at lying. I also don’t like liars. But if you have to lie to me, please be creative.
93. I can take any joke, no matter how brutal. Just be ready to receive in return.
94. Just start a conversation I will do my best to keep it lively.
P.S. To my friends who complain that I never start conversations; I learned that it costs nothing and of late I hope you realize I have improved. If not, I am working on it.
95. I think kissing is so weird when you think about it. You decide to taste the lips of each other to express emotions. Also…
96. The type of stuffs you hear when you meet open ladies is weird. “You handle this ass like its some fire going to burn you, like you are not sure that it’s yours. Babe this ass is yours fully.
97. I have got a kid brother. He is so bright and sharp. Both book and crook smart.
98. At some point our voices sounded exactly the same on phone (nowadays he has bass). I enjoyed getting him ladies on his behalf (His loss)
99. Whenever I hit the bar alone it’s almost given I will have a cold beer in a corner.
100. I never liked reading until recently.

101. After reading this list someone will think that they know me. Once again, funny what people think.

The ‘Man’ In Every Woman

You will understand the featured photo as you go on.

I am the worst patient ever. I know this for a fact. I have an ardent fear of anything medicine related which means I can take even 10minutes to swallow a tablet, even one that is sugar coated. I hear there are such. I don’t have the guts to taste any. I will just take my sweet time thinking about what angle to use when throwing the tablet in my mouth, to avoid any tongue-tablet contact. I don’t care if the tablet is tiny. Those are the worst! Other than that fear, I am stubborn. With that comes the need to be pampered. Like let’s say you want me to eat, talk to me nicely. Seduce me with your words such that I don’t just submit to the food but to any other order you issue. Talk to me like a child. Feel my temperature at intervals of 5minutes and most importantly, yet the most silly, ensure my phone does not run low on power.

As a patient, I can be very petty and by extension, exaggerate any situation. When I have the flu, you will think it’s a chronic illness or some ‘mathematics’ malaria. I mean the +++ ones. I will easily win your pity. The most I can do at such a time is cuddle up in bed and look pale. I can do that so well. It’s not a choice. It’s an involuntary reflex setting my body reverts to when am sick. In short, as a patient, I can sometimes be a pain in the ‘you know what’. (Feel free to read that as you may please. A three-letter word would suffice.) You can imagine the frustration in everyone when I had a sick scare recently. If there is such a thing.

Where am I going with this? When I had my sick scare, my Mum told me, “You are the only one among my children that I still don’t know how to handle when sick. You fall sick like your Dad.” Which I think narrowly translates to I fall sick like a Man? I don’t know. That is how I interpreted it. So it’s what we will all go with. No debates. In addition, it’s a known fact that men fear being sick.

This statement got me thinking. If I can fall sick like a man, what else that’s known about men do we women do? And I came up with this.

According to some article on the internet, a study actually, one of the facts known about men is that they lie six times in a day, while women lie three times. I don’t know how true that is, but I will not question the internet. Not after all the years of relying on it for all my assignments. However, if it is true, then I have some emphasis on that. First off, everyone lies. The men just happen to lie more in a day. Women however, have a tendency of linking unrelated situations together, which comes as an added advantage to them when lying. For example, the car is linked to the phone, which is linked to food, which is in turn linked to cleaning the house, and further linked to the story you as a man once mentioned three years ago. So with all these linked together, women need to lie less, because when caught in a lie, they can easily manipulate their way around a situation and instead link it to the other unrelated situations. Men, will have to come up with a lie to cover that lie. But the bottom line is, men lie. Women lie.

It is common knowledge that men forget a lot. And women remember a lot. As I have stated above, women link everything to everything. A trait that has seen men losing almost every argument they engage with women. Especially if you have a history together. However, women also forget. What triggers their memory is the ability to link a situation to an irrelevant one. A good example:
Man: I met Jane today. She said hello.
Woman: Jane…Jaaa…..Jannnnee….Jane Jane Jane…Jane. Which Jane is that?
Man: She used to work in the shop next to….
Woman: Aha! Jane. The one who had to move out of her husband’s house at night?

What a man can do, a women can do better? Really? What a man can do, a woman can do. Just that. Well except getting another woman pregnant.

There is something about a man, laziness, carelessness and disorganization. I can’t quite put a finger on it, but it’s there. I have more male friends than the female ones. So I know what am talking about. Besides, who said I need to have a huge number of people that I can sample from? IPSOS publishes their findings all the time and not even once have I heard anyone say they were part of the survey. The things I have mentioned, are not just associated with men, get a woman to feel comfortable with you and you will be surprised at how much the ‘men’ in women is paramount.

Men, ok I will say most men, thrive in disorganization. There is no specific order in which things are arranged in a man’s house. As long as there is a space, and the item fits, it will be placed there. Until it’s needed. Then the search begins; introducing new forms of disarrangement until the needed item is found. For example, why separate the shirts, trousers and socks? Why not pile them up together and only engage in a serious search party when you need one? You think only men do this? Think again.

I had a friend in school who never saw the need to separate his clean clothes from the dirty ones. He relied solely on his sense of smell and sight. Who says women are any different? They may be more civilized enough to separate the clean ones from the dirty ones, but not always. The jeans are an exception. (I won’t talk about bras, ladies know themselves). The jeans are always clean, it does not matter how many times they have been worn. They are always clean. Another man-thing in a woman is the need to just do nothing, and possibly have someone else do it. Laziness.

“Ablutophobia. Ablutophobia is a persistent fear of bathing or any other form of cleaning activity. It is found to be more common in children and females.” I will not even talk about that. It’s completely open to interpretation. (Photo relevance comes in here) Let’s move on…

Ever heard of an alpha male? Well, there is an alpha female too. She has her own pack. She determines which way they go. She determines who can join the pack and most importantly, you cannot even think of dating her ex. When you have an issue with the alpha female, as a member of the pack, kindly humble yourself and take the high road, or else, she will destroy you. Unlike the alpha males whose only limitation to the pack members is the ex-thing, the female alphas have more control over their packs. The men call themselves bros, but it’s always clear who the leader is. The women call it girl-squad, with a dictator for a leader. Therefore, another man-thing in a woman is that. The alpha thing. Women however take it way too far.

Do I need to talk about clothes? Football? Or some other sports generally associated with men? How about cooking? I don’t think so. You get my point.

What am I saying in all these? There is nothing so different in character between the man and woman. There is that aspect of the ‘man’ that will keep manifesting in the woman. Some, women hide pretty well.

Genesis 2: 23 And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

I will leave you with that.